Don't Google that title. Turns out it's the name of a romance novel about two guys raising a baby. So I was thinking that if I can just come up with one small thing to do a day, one small thing that would be helpful to someone other than myself, what would that be? Wouldn't that be a good thing? Wouldn't that make me more like Jesus? So I Googled it, and ended up on Goodreads reading the back cover of One Small Thing, a sweet romance novel about these two guys. Then I decided it was time for lunch, so I went and heated up my leftover soup, fixed myself a coffee cup of Pepsi (my splurge today).
And now I'm back here at the computer, enjoying my soup and Pepsi and contemplating my one small thing again. But here's what I'm wondering now: remember a few sentences back where I said that if I could do one small, good thing a day it would make me more like Jesus? I'm not so sure it would. Is it supposed to be so systematic, this living as a Christ Follower? I mean, it kind of makes you feel like the girlfriend who finds a list in her boyfriend's jacket pocket that says: "Nice things to do for my girlfriend". It feels so mechanical. Shouldn't it be an overflowing of the Spirit's work within me? If I have to sit around and try to think of good things to do, perhaps that is an indication that I am trying to turn this life back into a life of works rather than a relationship of love. Even if my motives are pretty decent.
So, I think for now, I'll stop beating myself up for not doing enough "good" every day and start beating myself up for having allowed the relationship to wane this way.
That's not true. No beating ourselves up here. I'm kidding. But I am going to make an intentional effort to stop beating myself up for not doing the "things", and I'm going to refocus on the relationship that sparked this desire to do good to begin with.